Monthly Archives: December 2013

I’d had the weirdest crush on my homeroom teacher for the…















I’d had the weirdest crush on my homeroom teacher for the longest time. So when he invited me into his office after hours, I figured this was my chance. The whole time was like a dream that I couldn’t believe was happening - and when he put his clothes back on and said “Hope to see you again at this time next week,” I almost came again!

“I have to WHAT?!” “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just…



"I have to WHAT?!"

"I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just part of the package you ordered."

"Well…you say this actually works? This isn’t just one of your muslim things about raping white women?"

I smiled. “One hundred percent.” Or rather, it’ll work to shut you up after you spend an hour-long massage criticizing my technique and saying the most racist shit I’ve heard in person. For you, it’ll work perfectly.